Heart gone cold.

Recently, I reflected upon many things. I evaluated the many responses I had towards the happenings around me. Both the inplicit responses and the explicit responses. To the best that I can, I put them side by side his biblical standard, I measured, questioned. Many nights, as I recalled and evaluated, my heart went cold. Some were the hurts, the guilts, the mistakes, towards him, me, them. And there were instances when my heart leap with excitement and joy at the prospect of acquring new things, at hopes and dreams that can be accomplished. It was a swing, between the helplessness of man, and the heart held by hope.

As I look back, I see the many plans, that I had failed, or failed me. I see the expectations that I had failed and failed me. The disappointments, the guilts. This is man, that we crumbled when our expectations fail. Perhaps, fallen from expectations but never grace. I thank God that despite, all these storms and wild weather, he keep me safe in his grace. He is grace (like how my sheep puts it). The one who never fails me.

I am about as fickled as any human being. I lack the compassion, some might expect me to have. Perhaps, as this year comes to an end, I've learnt more about not living within the expectations of others, likewise, not be too harsh in expecting others. All are human beings, we need so grace. It's okay, to stumble every now and then, just pick yourself up and move on.